Finding  the 
Truth 

An  Incident  in  the  School 
Work  in  Porto  Rico 

A True  Story 


The  Woman  s Board  of  Home  Missions  of  the 
Presbyterian  Church  in  the  U.  S.  A.,  One  Hun- 
dred ahd  Fifty-six  Fifth  Avenue,  New  York  City 


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Finding  the  Truth 

THE  first  years  of  my  life  were 
spent  in  the  country,  without 
any  intellectual  or  moral  train- 
ing-. I saw  no  altars  nor  churches, 
the  love  of  God  was  not  spoken  of  to 
me,  nor  do  I remember  of  having  any 
conception  whatever  of  a Supreme 
Being. 

Arriving  at  school  age,  my  par- 
ents moved  to  the  city  and,  being  of 
an  inquisitive  mind,  by  association 
with  other  children  I soon  learned 
many  things  and  obtained  some  idea 
of  God. 

When  a child  my  mother  had  me 
baptized  in  the  Catholic  Church,  and 
gathering  all  her  children  about  her 
she  taught  us  to  say  prayers.  The 
Lord’s  Prayer,  the  creed  and  doc- 
trines of  the  Church  were  mem- 
orized and  repeated  by  us  word  for 
word  as  they  fell  from  the  lips  of 
our  idolized  mother.  Unfortunately 
there  was  no  spiritual  teaching  nor 
explanation,  and  no  impression  was 
made  upon  my  soul. 


In  school  I had  a teacher  who  was 
a free  thinker,  and  he  told  us 
frankly  that  he  went  to  church  be- 
cause the  Government  compelled 
him  to  do  so.  We  were  obliged  to 
attend,  also,  and  each  Sunday  were 
given  a ticket  on  which  was  written 
“Value.”  This  excused  us  from 
memorizing  a difficult  lesson.  On 
the  other  hand,  if  we  were  not  pres- 
ent at  church  on  Sunday  we  were 
kept  for  an  hour  after  school  on 
Monday.  So,  to  avoid  a difficult 
task  and  to  escape  punishment  I 
went  to  mass,  and  not  from  any  re- 
ligious motive  whatever.  My  father 
being  a Mason,  I heard  very  little 
about  the  priests.  At  one  time  I 
wished  to  be  an  acolyte,  and  spoke 
of  it  to  the  priest  without  my 
father’s  knowledge.  Upon  learning 
this  he  went  to  the  priest  and  told 
him  never  again  to  let  me  go  into 
the  vestry. 

Under  such  circumstances  my 
faith  in  God  and  the  saints  was  es- 
tablished only  through  the  lessons 
of  my  dear  mother 

The  teacher  made  us  learn  the 
catechism  and  sacred  history,  but  it 
being  in  the  days  when  only  the 
memory  was  trained  and  not  the 
intellect,  there  were  no  spiritual  re- 
sults from  this  work. 


[4] 


Thus  my  boyhood  passed  care- 
lessly by,  the  last  years  of  which 
were  made  more  serious  by  the  lin- 
gering illness  of  my  mother.  Well 
do  I remember  the  impression  made 
upon  my  mind  by  a visit  made  with 
the  family  one  day  to  the  church  at 
Hormigueros,  where  they  went  to 
pay  a vow  for  the  recovery  of  my 
mother,  made  by  my  grandmother, 
who  was  very  Catholic  and  spent 
most  of  her  time  praying  in  her 
room. 

It  proved  beyond  the  power  of 
science  to  cure  my  beloved  mother, 
and  day  by  day  she  gradually  grew 
worse.  One  day  the  doctor  ex- 
claimed: “I  can  do  no  more !” 

words  which  carried  to  my  heart  un- 
speakable sadness  and  deepest  sor- 
row. At  this  moment,  my  eldest  sis- 
ter, full  of  faith,  called  to  me  and 
said:  “Come,  let  us  pray  to  Saint 
Rafael  and  ask  for  her  life.”  This 
was  her  favorite  saint,  and  I,  too, 
believed  that  he  had  all  power. 

While  the  words  of  science  had 
left  me  hopeless,  these  words  of 
faith  gave  me  strength  and  courage, 
so  I went  with  my  sister  to  her 
room,  where  we  plead  for  the  life 
of  our  mother. 

Such  was  my  faith,  and  I had 
asked  with  such  earnestness  that  I 

fsj 


went  out  of  this  room  with  the  cer- 
tainty that  my  mother  would  live. 
I went  in  to  see  her,  and  she  seemed 
better.  During  the  hours  of  the 
night  and  the  following  morning  my 
heart  was  filled  with  quiet  hope,  but 
it  was  only  a momentary  relief  from 
the  struggles  of  my  soul.  I had  to 
fortify  myself  for  the  inevitable 
blow,  for  in  the  afternoon  of  this 
day  the  eyes  of  the  beloved  mother 
of  our  home  were  forever  closed.  In 
one  moment  we  lost  her  tender  care 
and  affection,  and  our  happy  home 
was  turned  into  one  of  bitter  mourn- 
ing. 

Where  now  were  the  saints? 
Where,  then,  St.  Rafael?  What  was 
his  power;  where  his  influence?  My 
poor,  weak,  untaught,  unfounded 
faith  went  from  me  with  the  soul  of 
her  who  had  inspired  it,  and  in  that 
day  a great  moral  change  came  upon 
me. 

The  awe  and  certain  reverence 
with  which  I had  looked  upon  the 
images  in  the  church,  which  they 
told  me  represented  certain  Beings 
of  influence  and  power  in  Heaven — 
this  respect  was  gone,  and  I now 
looked  upon  them  as  wholly  mun- 
dane, as  I looked  upon  the  crystal 
stream  or  the  fragrant  flower. 

As  I had  gone  to  church  at  first 


[6] 


from  compulsion  and  later  with  but 
weak  faith,  I now  went  for  amuse- 
ment only  and  to  meet  my  girl 
friends,  without  a thought  of  devo- 
tion or  saying  prayers  to  the  saints. 
And  in  this  way  the  unfortunate 
years  of  my  young  manhood  were 
spent. 

At  fourteen  years  of  age  I entered 
the  college  for  higher  education  in 
Mayaguez.  It  would  be  impossible 
for  me  here  to  describe  all  the  strife 
and  contention  of  the  next  five  years 
of  my  college  life;  equal  struggle,  I 
thought,  no  one  had  ever  suffered 
and  come  out  with  any  degree  of 
success. 

I pursued  my  studies  with  earn- 
estness and  pleasure.  The  contest 
between  various  classmates  to  rank 
first  was  intense,  but  by  diligent  ef- 
fort I ever  kept  the  place  of  honor. 
Being  a boarding  pupil  I was  given 
too  free  reins.  I came  out  and  went 
in  at  my  own  pleasure,  and  thus  I 
was  the  envy  of  my  companions, 
who,  seeing  my  liberties  and  my  in- 
tellectual triumphs,  often  wished 
themselves  in  my  place,  thinking  I 
was  happy. 

Had  they  but  known  the  truth 
they  would  have  known  that  I was 
the  most  miserable  of  men ; inas- 
much as  worldly  pleasure  and  suc- 


[7] 


cess  can  never  satisfy  the  longing 
of  the  better  nature,  nor  can  such 
sweeten  the  bitterness  of  ruined 
character. 

The  denial  of  the  power  of  the 
saints  was  soon  followed  by  the  de- 
nial of  the  existence  of  God,  and 
being  a lover  of  study  I began  to 
search  for  the  truth.  Latin,  French, 
physics,  philosophy,  etc.,  filled  my 
brain  with  ideas  and  wrapped  my 
soul  in  confusion  until  I began  to 
believe  myself  a philosopher,  argu- 
ing to-day  Materialism,  to-morrow 
Spiritualism,  etc.,  the  material  domi- 
nating, and,  being  now  without  God 
or  faith,  it  pleased  me  to  be  in  a 
school  where  denying  God  they  de- 
nied also  the  existence  of  the  soul, 
arguing  that  the  spirit  is  only  the 
force  of  the  material.  The  study  of 
the  philosophy  which  taught  the  in- 
fallibility of  the  Pope  only  served 
to  strengthen  my  materialistic 
views. 

At  another  time  I was  glad  to  be- 
lieve that  there  was  no  thinking  “I,” 
only  brain  over  which  the  blood  had 
a powerful  influence  making  impres- 
sions upon  it  by  its  rapid  movement, 
at  the  same  time  the  nerves  by  pro- 
digious activity  producing  thought. 
I now  took  great  delight  in  such  au- 
thors as  Balzac  and  Flaubert.  My 


[8] 


favorite  poets  were  Espronceda  and 
Bartrina,  such  geniuses  who,  instead 
of  edifying,  have  done  such  harm, 
burning  with  the  light  of  their  intel- 
ligence the  flower  of  hope,  of  faith 
and  love. 

But  was  I convinced  and  satisfied 
after  all  this  struggle?  No,  a thou- 
sand times  no ! When  most  mate- 
rialistic and  skeptical  I read  the 
works  of  “Lumen”  de  Flamarion 
and  other  such  works,  seeking  some 
argument,  some  truth,  that  would 
lead  me  out  of  this  unsatisfactory 
path  into  one  of  faith,  where  I might 
know  that  in  me  there  was  a soul 
and,  above  all,  a Superior  Being, 
who  controlled  all  my  destinies.  In 
my  soul  there  was  the  thirst  which 
could  be  quenched  only  at  the  ex- 
haustless fountain — God.  But  on 
account  of  my  ignorance  and  lack 
of  a spiritual  guide  I found  no  light. 

In  the  course  of  events  I gradu- 
ated and  received  my  college  degree, 
obtained  a teacher’s  certificate  and 
was  elected  to  teach  in  my  native 
city.  No  one  at  this  time  advised 
me  nor  even  suggested  my  being  a 
teacher ; it  seemed  to  have  been  so 
ordered,  and  an  irresistible  power 
placed  me  as  teacher  over  a school 
of  children.  I shall  not  dwell  in  de- 
tail upon  the  nine  years  of  teaching 


[9) 


— Anasco,  Rincon,  Mayaguez  and 
San  Juan ; all  the  Island  knows  how 
I labored  for  the  progress  of  my 
country,  but  they  do  not  know  with 
what  difficulty  this  irreverent  unbe- 
liever, this  infidel,  kept  from  his  pu- 
pils the  venomous  poison  of  his  own 
beliefs.  I never  denied  God  without 
a secret  wish  that  my  pupils  might 
believe  in  Him.  I made  no  display 
of  my  fatal  unbelief.  I was  not 
happy  with  my  ideas ; my  doubt  ex- 
ceeded that  of  Descartes,  for  I 
doubted  even  my  own  doubt  and  did 
not  wish  mv  pupils  and  children  to 
share  my  belief.  I talked  to  them  of 
their  duty  of  faith  in  God  and  tried 
to  teach  them  such  things  as  would 
be  beneficial,  but  I was  weak  to 
speak  of  that  which  I did  not  feel 
and  slow  to  teach  what  I myself  did 
not  believe. 

And  thus  the  years  passed  until  my 
eldest  son  arrived  at  school  age,  and 
I was  confronted  with  the  serious 
problem  of  his  education.  I knew 
my  duty  was  to  teach  him  English, 
and  I wanted  him  to  have  religious 
instruction,  but  I knew  of  no 
teacher  to  whom  I cared  to  entrust 
my  son’s  education.  Walking  down 

the  street  one  day  I met  Miss  M 

W ;,  who  told  me  that  she  with 

Miss  L was  about  to  open  a mis- 


[10] 


sion  school  in  San  Juan.  Having: 

met  Miss  W , and  knowing  of 

her  Christian  teaching  at  Mayaguez, 
the  thought  at  once  came  to  me  that 
here  were  the  proper  teachers  for 
my  son.  Delighted  with  the  oppor- 
tunity, I at  once  made  arrangements 
whereby  my  boy  might  come  under 
the  pure  religious  influence  of  these 
spiritual  teachers.  Leaving  the 
child  in  this  school,  you  will  allow 
me  a digression. 

During  the  first  years  of  my  work 
as  Professor  of  Science  in  the  San 
Juan  High  School  the  question  of 
having  the  Lord’s  Prayer  repeated 
during  the  opening  exercises  was 
presented  to  the  faculty.  Although 
the  idea  seemed  ridiculous  to  me, 
yet  on  seeing  that  the  others  all 
favored  it  I gave  the  vote  which 
made  it  a unanimous  rule. 

The  first  morning  of  school  ar- 
rived and  after  the  singing  of  a 
song  .the  principal  in  solemn  and 
reverent  voice  lead,  while  all  re- 
peated with  him  the  Lord’s  Prayer. 
Not  all,  for  my  lips  were  sealed  in 
admiration  of  the  picture  of  faith 
before  me ; teachers  and  pupils  lift- 
ing their  voices  in  earnest  supplica- 
tion to  God  before  going  to  their 
daily  work.  I went  out  from  this 
place  heavy-hearted  and  ashamed. 


[nj 


feeling  myself  wholly  unworthy  of 
the  high  position  which  I held.  I 
at  once  committed  to  memory  in 
English  this  prayer,  which  so  often 
in  my  childhood  I had  mechanically 
repeated  in  Spanish.  As  I now  re- 
peated it  with  the  others,  the  great 
depths  of  its  truth  came  to  me. . I 
now  knew  there  was  a God  and  in 
me  an  immortal  soul.  I never  again 
doubted  God,  and  I realized  how  far 
I was  from  being  in  harmony  with 
Him. 

Let  us  now  return  to  my  son’s 
school.  He  often  told  me  that  his 
teacher  wished  him  to  attend  some 
services  in  the  church  on  Sunday, 
and,  although  I knew  nothing  of  the 
nature  of  a Sunday  school,  I en- 
couraged him  to  attend  regularly, 
for  I observed  that  there  was  being 
instilled  into  his  young  mind  prin- 
ciples of  faith. 

One  Sunday  I determined  to  go 
with  him,  and  entering  the  Sunday 
school  room  a beautiful  picture 
greeted  my  eyes : A room  full  of 
eager  children  looking  earnestly 
into  the  face  of  their  teacher,  who 
in  simple  language  was  explaining 
a lesson  from  the  Bible,  the  story 
Being  made  more  impressive  by 
means  of  chart  and  picture.  I went 
into  another  room  and  there  another 


[12] 


group  of  children  were  being  in- 
structed in  the  same  interesting 
manner,  this  in  the  English  lan- 
guage, while  the  other  was  in  Span- 
ish. In  other  rooms  were  yet  other 
classes,  each  intent  upon  the  study 
of  the  word  of  God.  This  was  all 
new  to  me,  and  it  is  impossible  for 
me  to  describe  the  profound  impres- 
sion made  upon  my  mind  as  I looked 
and  meditated  upon  this  scene. 

At  the  close  of  the  lesson  I was 
invited  to  remain  for  the  English 
service.  An  irresistible  force  im- 
pelled me ; I staid,  and  here  I saw 
another  picture  no  less  beautiful. 
In  the  first  impressionable  children 
were  being  taught  to  know  and  to 
follow  a loving  Saviour,  and  in  the 
second  men  and  women  firmly 
founded  in  the  faith  were  reverently 
worshiping  the  same  Divine  Master. 

The  preacher  read  and  expounded 
the  words  of  Jesus  in  such  a man- 
ner that  the  audience  felt  the  influ- 
ence of  an  irresistible  something ; 
which  something  I later  knew  to  be 
the  inherent  power  of  the  Word  of 
God.  My  rebellious  spirit  was  con- 
quered, and  in  that  most  solemn 
moment  of  my  life  my  transforma- 
tion began.  I now  knew  that  this 
was  the  Truth  for  which  I had 
sought  so  earnestly  all  these  years, 

[13] 


and  which  could  satisfy  the  long- 
ing of  my  soul  and  give  me  peace. 
I resolved  that  from  that  moment 
I would  study  the  Bible,  the  treas- 
ure which  during  all  the  twenty- 
nine  years  of  my  life  had  been  a 
sealed  book  to  me. 

Under  the  direction  of  Miss  M — — 
I began  to  study  the  Bible,  and  little 
by  little  the  forgiving  grace  of  a 
merciful  Father  was  revealed  to  me. 
The  love  of  Christ  entered  my  heart, 
I knew  and  accepted  Him  as  my 
personal  Saviour  and  He  has  made 
me  free,  transformed  my  life,  given 
me  a living  faith,  and  fills  my  soul 
with  the  peace  which  the  world  can 
never  give. 

What  a merciful  Saviour!  After 
almost  thirty  years  of  unbelief  and 
sin  He  has  saved  me  by  His  grace 
and  put  into  my  heart  a longing  for 
the  salvation  of  my  countrymen. 
What  joy  to  teach  them  the  way  of 
eternal  life. 

Come  and  note  the  transforma- 
tion in  my  home.  All  strife  and  bit- 
terness gone,  for  God  is  there.  Our 
highest  aim  now  is  to  know  and  to 
do  His  holy  will.  The  Bible  is 
daily  studied  as  at  the  family  altar 
we  hold  precious  communion  with 
Him,  and  we  gladly  welcome  each 
Sabbath  day  when  united  we  assem- 


[14] 


ble  at  the  church  service  for  wor- 
ship. 

May  the  Lord  richly  bless  all 
those  who  are  sowing  the  seed  of 
faith  in  this  island;  may  He  en- 
lighten our  understanding  that  the 
work  of  Christian  missions  may  find 
a quick  response  in  the  hearts  of  the 
Porto  Ricans. 


[The  writer  of  this  sketch  is  one  of  the 
most  prominent  educators  in  Porto  Rico, 
and  is  now  supervising  principal  over 
the  schools  of  a very  important  district. 
Here  by  his  earnest,  Christian  life  he  is 
exerting  a wide  influence,  and  because 
he  is  so  well  known  he  is  a power  for 
our  great  cause.  Many,  many  there  are 
here  who  stand  just  where  this  man 
stood,  seeking  “truth,”  waiting  for  the 
“gospel,”  for  how  shall  they  believe  in 
Him  of  whom  they  have  not  heard?” — 
Margaret  Weyer.] 


No.  402— 1st  Ed. -2-1909  Price  3c.  each,  $2.50  per  100  • 
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